Prom dress

One would think, after over 200 years of experience in the free market, people would think of something more useful to sell than this, like toenail scents.

“Something so useless, I didn't invest in it in the economic stimulus package.”

~ Barack Obama
“Stand up, all victims of oppression

For the tyrants fear your might

Don't cling so hard to your possessions

For you have nothing, if you have no rights

Let racist ignorance be ended

For respect makes the empires fall

Freedom is merely privilege extended

Unless enjoyed by one and all

Chorus: So come brothers and sisters

For the struggle carries on

The Internationale

Unites the world in song

So comrades come rally

For this is the time and place

The international ideal

Unites the human race

Let no one build walls to divide us

Walls of hatred nor walls of stone

Come greet the dawn and stand beside us

We'll live together or we'll die alone

In our world poisoned by exploitation

Those who have taken, now they must give

And end the vanity of nations

We've but one Earth on which to live

And so begins the final drama

In the streets and in the fields

We stand unbowed before their armor

We defy their guns and shields

When we fight, provoked by their aggression

Let us be inspired by life and love

For though they offer us concessions

Change will not come from above”
~ Someone

“It's like gotta have, like sparkles, and like moar sparkles, and white, and like completely expensive!”

~ Your average prom dress wearer

“What? Those globalist commies supported by George Soros and Media Matters and the Tide Foundation are selling crap to our impressionable youth to support procreation among the masses? It must be a sort of ponzi scheme funded by Social Security funds in order to double down on the national debt and sell a bunch of unwanted babies to the Chinese. It's a brilliant idea in theory, but what about the human rights the Founders who died over 200 years ago endowed us with? These babies are American citizens and should not be shipped to do tenuous labor.”


“Can you take that thing off yet? Prom is an excuse to screw each other, y'know.”

~ Greg
Did you know...
Investors consider stock in General Motors a more wise investment than a prom dress.

A prom dress, in a capitalistic society, is seriously one of the worst investments someone can make. It is an often rather revealing piece of fabric knitted by Laotian boys who are paid fruit rinds and often die from dehydration. It is typically worn by American young women ages 16-18, but there has been an epidemic of cross-dressing among the vertically-challenged. It is even worse of an investment than timeshares, pinball machine stakes, mass plastic surgery, Michael Jackson records, Soviet flags, or student loans.

The prom dress is considered extremely useless since it is typically only worn for one night, the prom, in which is considered the most romantic evening of a girl's life, though it is uncertain why since it results in binge drinking, mass fornication, and a bunch of unloved infants. The dress usually ends up in the back of some loser guy's car, and really puts the $200 "investment" to waste.

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